Counseling Terms Glossary
Are you curious about the meanings behind all of the jargon, buzzwords, and phrases used in counseling? Are you considering counseling but feeling overwhelmed by unfamiliar terms? Not to worry - we're here to help! Our comprehensive glossary contains the words and phrases you need to know in order to understand and navigate the world of counseling. Don't let confusing jargon stand in the way of your wellbeing - let us demystify the language used in counseling and help you on your journey to self-discovery.
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Common Issues
Abandonment
Abandonment is not a stand-alone health condition but is a form of anxiety and in some cases can be considered a phobia. People with abandonment issues have trouble in relationships because of a fear of the other person leaving them.
Everyone has experienced abandonment in one form or another. As children grow and begin to develop their self-worth, certain life events can cause shame and feelings of inadequacy. These past hurts can be hidden deep and may not be obvious, however, they can cause very real pain and be a driving force throughout adult life. This is a form of attachment trauma and is commonly seen within Anxious Preoccupied and Fearful Avoidant Attachment Styles.
Abusive Relationships and/or Abuse
Abuse can take on many forms, causing harm not only physically but also emotionally. This type of abuse often comes from those closest to us, such as a partner or family member.
Physical abuse occurs when an individual is physically assaulted by another, which includes acts of violence or unwanted sexual activity.
Emotional abuse occurs when an individual extorts control over another using intimidation techniques including insults, humiliation, fear, and neglect among many others.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger of abuse, please reach out to the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at (800) 799-7233.
Anxiety
Anxiety is a stress that persists even after the stressor has subsided. It’s a persistent worry which causes ongoing symptoms of stress in the body and mind.
Anxiety is a stress that persists even after the stressor has subsided. Anxiety is a persistent worry which causes ongoing symptoms of stress in the body and mind. Because the body is not meant to maintain this heightened state of alertness for extended periods, it is important to address anxiety and work to alleviate it with improved mindfulness and coping skills.
Boundaries
Boundaries are personal limits separating what we accept from what we do not accept. They are a person’s invisible forcefield, imperative to one’s healthy well-being. Defining and holding boundaries is important so as to not allow others to dictate how we feel and act.
Unhealthy or missing boundaries can lead to overwhelm, stress, anger, anxiety, depression, and burnout.
Bullying
Bullying may involve physical altercations like pushing, tripping, or beating but more often it is done verbally. The bully seeks to exert control over another by taunting, shaming, teasing, stealing, or spreading false rumors.
When someone takes actions to make another feel bad about themselves, that is bullying.
Bullying is harmful because it causes low self-esteem and isolation – reduced participation in class lends to poor grades and may lead to depression, anxiety, and even suicide. Therapists can work with bullies to help overcome the reasons why they are hurting others, and they can also help the child who was bullied to heal from the traumas caused by abusive behaviors.
Bullying is against the law and should be reported if a school-age child is involved. Read about the anti-bullying laws and steps you can take at understood.org.
Dissociation
Dissociation is a powerful internal defense mechanism in which conflicting natural impulses or threatening ideas and feelings are separated from the rest of one’s psyche.
We all have the power to dissociate, and it has saved many of us in different ways, i.e. when being attacked, your fight response is triggered and another side of you can come out or the mother who can lift a car to save her child in that moment.
We all dissociate and people who have experienced more complex trauma in their lifetime tend to have higher levels of dissociation.
Divorce
When a family separates due to a Divorce, a plethora of feelings and new ways of daily life have to be addressed and managed. Both sides of the couple and the other members of the family will experience intense emotions including shame, blame, sadness, anger, and confusion.
The grief experienced from divorce can be similar to the death of a loved one and is very real. There may be feelings of hopelessness, depression, and anxiety. There is likely uncertainty about the next steps to take in life – which direction to go and wondering if one is capable and worthy of new ventures.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of emotional and psychological abuse and manipulation. Narcissistic personalities will use gaslighting to cause you to doubt yourself just enough for them to manipulate you. That can be a lot or a little, depending on you and your relationship with the narcissist.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person is made to question their own sanity so the abuser can exploit them. The abuser is often a narcissist or other controlling personality. This could be a partner, a coworker/supervisor, or even a trusted friend.
Gaslighting is very serious and can cause anxiety, depression, and psychological trauma. Therapy can help to understand the events as they truly took place and work to heal the trauma and restore self-confidence.
You can learn more about how to recognize narcissistic personality traits and gaslighting on our blog.
Anyone who believes they may be experiencing gaslighting or any form of abuse should seek support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 800-799-7233 or online chat at thehotline.org.
Grief and Complex Grief
Grief is the pain that is naturally felt when a loss occurs. The loss can be from the death of a loved one or a pet, the loss of a job or a friend, or even a sense of lost safety after a traumatic event.
Therapy can help you navigate the stages of grief, manage the symptoms in the process, and guide you to a more fulfilled and self-aware place in life.
Guilt and Shame
Guilt and shame are often used interchangeably, but they actually carry distinct and independent meanings. While related, guilt and shame are separate emotions that can coexist together.
Guilt and shame are both powerful emotions that can have a significant impact on individuals. They are often triggered by a sense of wrongdoing or moral conflict and can lead to feelings of sadness, self-doubt, and even self-punishment. However, while they may have similar effects, guilt and shame are different in their focus and purpose.
Guilt is the feeling of remorse or regret for a specific action or behavior, while shame is the feeling of being inadequate or unworthy as a person. In other words, guilt is centered around the action itself, while shame is focused on the person's sense of self and identity.
Think -
Guilt = "I did something bad."
Shame = "I am bad."
While guilt and shame are emotions that provide important feedback and are not inherently "bad" emotions, chronic guilt and shame both lead to more significant mental health issues and struggles in life.
Infidelity
Infidelity is the term for unfaithfulness (affair/cheating) within a monogamous relationship. Viewpoints on what constitutes infidelity vary – some see deep conversations with others as cheating and others feel it is the act of sex with another. The extent of the unfaithfulness has no real relevance to the outcome – it all feels terrible.
A person who has been betrayed often feels grief, rage, shame, depression, and trauma. This can lead to problems at work or cause risky behaviors including using sex, food, drugs, or alcohol to cope. These responses are quite common and can happen whether the couple decides to split or to try to stay together.
Couples therapy can help the two sides discuss the problems that led to the infidelity and work towards solutions to those problems. Individual therapy can help to restore the self-esteem of the person who was cheated on and also helps overcome the guilt of the individual who committed the adultery. People make mistakes – sometimes big ones – and therapy is a good resource for helping to move through and past the bumps of life.
A person who has been betrayed often feels grief, rage, shame, depression, and trauma. This can lead to problems at work or cause risky behaviors including using sex, food, drugs, or alcohol to cope. These responses are quite common and can happen whether the couple decides to split or to try to stay together.
Couples therapy can help the two sides discuss the problems that led to the infidelity and work towards solutions to those problems. Individual therapy can help to restore the self-esteem of the person who was cheated on and also helps overcome the guilt of the individual who committed the adultery. People make mistakes – sometimes big ones – and therapy is a good resource for helping to move through and past the bumps of life.
Narcissism and/or Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental condition where an individual feels they are superior, have a strong need for attention and admiration, and have a lack of empathy for others.
Narcissists tend to think they are above reproach and they regularly degrade those around them. They expect grand treatment and feel the rules do not apply to them. They lack boundaries, have no respect for others. They do all of this without any shame because their condition prevents them from connecting and processing shame – this is likely a result of an early-childhood trauma they experienced themselves.
Narcissistic abuse occurs when a person with narcissistic traits begins to harm or manipulate another individual.
Individuals who have experienced a prolonged relationship with a narcissist (whether it's romantic, friendship, or familial) may develop Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome, which can lead to diminished self-esteem and a distorted perception of reality, resulting in symptoms similar to those of PTSD such as hypervigilance, flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts.
Therapy can help those who have been affected by narcissistic abuse and those suffering from NPD as well.
Pathways Counseling KC has therapists who specialize in treating narcissistic abuse. We can help you heal and take back your life!
Anyone who believes they may be experiencing any form of abuse should seek support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 800-799-7233 or online chat at thehotline.org.
Family Conflict
Familial relationships are the most difficult relationships to ever see complete bliss. Each family is so unique with its own quirks, strengths, skills and it takes constant work to ensure each individual is doing their part. It’s important that each family member is investing in the family unit.
Remember that each individual within the family unit is different. It’s important to learn how to work together and identify and accept each other for who they are. Also that it’s important to have an early intervention if the conflict is stirring between family members. Don’t wait until it gets physical – not that it will, but it can…
A sibling conflict or child-parent rivalry should be interrupted with outside support if/when it becomes so intense that one of the other begins feeling constant stress or anxiety, depression or isolation, or even forms of self-harm.
Family and/or individual therapy can help with these strained relationships.
Perfectionism
People with Perfectionism hold themselves and their work to very high standards and tend to suffer from anxieties related to measuring up to the high bars. Some level of perfectionism can be positive when the lofty goals are achievement-oriented. However, when perfectionism is fueled by a fear of failure (instead of desire for success) then it is considered maladaptive.
Maladaptive perfectionists often find it difficult to relax and turn off circling thoughts. They sometimes procrastinate for fear of not doing the project well enough. Perfectionists can become obsessive with to-do lists and rules and methods – this can lead to an obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) if not curtailed.
Setting unattainable goals along with constant anxiety, stress, and fear of mistakes is not uncommon for someone suffering from maladaptive perfectionism. These things can all interfere with living a healthy and happy life. A therapist can be successful at helping manage or overcome these undesirable feelings and emotions using a variety of modalities.
Maladaptive perfectionists often find it difficult to relax and turn off circling thoughts. They sometimes procrastinate for fear of not doing the project well enough. Perfectionists can become obsessive with to-do lists and rules and methods – this can lead to an obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) if not curtailed.
Setting unattainable goals along with constant anxiety, stress, and fear of mistakes is not uncommon for someone suffering from maladaptive perfectionism. These things can all interfere with living a healthy and happy life. A therapist can be successful at helping manage or overcome these undesirable feelings and emotions using a variety of modalities.
Self-Esteem
Self-esteem refers to how we perceive our own value and worth. It influences not only how we see ourselves but also how we interact with others and handle various situations in life. Self-esteem is shaped by how we evaluate aspects of ourselves, including our appearance, emotions, abilities, and overall potential. It can be seen as a core personality trait that impacts our confidence and general outlook on life.
For example, someone with high self-esteem might be confident in sharing their ideas during a meeting. They feel comfortable expressing their needs, whether it’s asking for help on a project or setting boundaries when necessary. High self-esteem also allows for strong, healthy relationships since individuals are more likely to communicate clearly and assertively.
On the other hand, someone with low self-esteem may struggle in situations where confidence is required. They might hesitate to speak up in meetings, fearing their ideas aren’t valuable. They may also avoid setting boundaries, which can lead to burnout or resentment. This lack of confidence can lead to a negative outlook on life and difficulty handling setbacks.
Self-esteem plays an essential role in both personal and professional growth. While many factors can influence our self-esteem, such as early life experiences or current challenges, it can be difficult to rebuild once it’s been diminished. Fortunately, self-esteem can be improved with the right tools and support.
There are several therapeutic modalities that are effective in improving self-esteem:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)Acceptance and Committment Therapy (ACT)Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)Narrative TherapyEye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)Mindfulness-Based Therapies
For example, someone with high self-esteem might be confident in sharing their ideas during a meeting. They feel comfortable expressing their needs, whether it’s asking for help on a project or setting boundaries when necessary. High self-esteem also allows for strong, healthy relationships since individuals are more likely to communicate clearly and assertively.
On the other hand, someone with low self-esteem may struggle in situations where confidence is required. They might hesitate to speak up in meetings, fearing their ideas aren’t valuable. They may also avoid setting boundaries, which can lead to burnout or resentment. This lack of confidence can lead to a negative outlook on life and difficulty handling setbacks.
Self-esteem plays an essential role in both personal and professional growth. While many factors can influence our self-esteem, such as early life experiences or current challenges, it can be difficult to rebuild once it’s been diminished. Fortunately, self-esteem can be improved with the right tools and support.
There are several therapeutic modalities that are effective in improving self-esteem:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)Acceptance and Committment Therapy (ACT)Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)Narrative TherapyEye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)Mindfulness-Based Therapies
Socialization
From a young age, most of us are taught the fundamentals of socializing—learning to connect with others, share experiences, and build relationships. These early lessons lay the groundwork for the social interactions we carry into adulthood. Socializing, at its core, is about fostering connections with others, often for mutual enjoyment and emotional fulfillment.
Humans are inherently wired for connection; it’s a fundamental aspect of our nature. Studies have consistently shown that meaningful social interactions are essential for a happy and healthy life. Engaging with others—whether through conversations, laughter, or shared experiences—not only strengthens our sense of belonging but also boosts mental and emotional well-being.
Social Isolation
Yet, there are times when individuals may find themselves withdrawing from social interaction. This can happen at any stage of life, whether due to personal challenges, feelings of inadequacy, past trauma, or even situational factors like major life transitions. Prolonged social isolation can take a toll on mental health, leading to feelings of loneliness and disconnection.
Recognizing Barriers to Socialization
Rebuilding these vital connections can be challenging, but it’s never impossible. A therapist can play a key role in helping individuals recognize the barriers to socialization and work through them. With professional guidance, people can learn—or relearn—important social skills, identify strategies to overcome feelings of isolation, and begin to reestablish the meaningful relationships that are so integral to a fulfilling life.
Therapeutic Modalities That Can Help Build Socialization Skills
Several therapeutic modalities can help build and improve socialization skills. These approaches target various aspects of social interaction, such as communication, empathy, conflict resolution, and confidence in social settings.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
Narrative Therapy
Family Therapy
Play Therapy (for Children)
Mindfulness-Based Therapies
Life Transition Therapy
Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT)
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Trauma-Focused Therapies
Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR)
Exposure & Response Prevention Therapy (ERP)
Social Isolation
Social isolation has become an increasingly important topic, especially in light of recent global events like the COVID-19 pandemic. As social beings, humans are naturally wired for connection. When those connections are interrupted, it can take a toll on our emotional and psychological health. Other factors like anxiety and depression can also lead individuals to withdraw from social interactions.
A Vicious Cycle for Those Struggling with Anxiety and Depression
The effects of isolation can be a vicious cycle. For those already dealing with anxiety or depression, isolation often makes these feelings worse. Even for individuals who haven’t experienced mental health concerns before, extended periods of disconnection can lead to loneliness, which may ultimately trigger new struggles with anxiety, depression, or heightened stress.
An example of social isolation could be a young professional who moves to a new city for work and struggles to make connections. They spend most of their time alone at home, working remotely and only engaging with colleagues through virtual meetings. Over time, they begin to feel disconnected and avoid social opportunities, such as joining local groups or attending networking events, because they feel anxious or uncertain about fitting in. This prolonged lack of social interaction eventually leads to feelings of loneliness and emotional distress, which may impact their overall mental health and productivity.
The Importance of Social Connection
Recognizing the importance of social connection is key to maintaining a healthy balance. Whether isolation stems from external circumstances or personal challenges, finding ways to reconnect is essential. Mental health professionals are a valuable resource in helping individuals address these challenges, build effective coping strategies, and reestablish meaningful connections to improve overall well-being. Talking to a therapist is a great way to improve socialization skills.
Substance Abuse
Substance Abuse is the overindulgence or reliance on an addictive substance. It does not matter if the substance is legal or illegal, if it has addictive qualities, it can become addictive. Illicit drugs (e.g., cocaine and heroin), certain prescription drugs, alcohol, marijuana, and nicotine are all considered addictive substances.
The overuse of addictive drugs can lead to a Substance Use Disorder (SUD). When cravings are unmanageable, work and home-life suffer, and thoughts are consumed with plans to use, professional help should be considered.
Therapy can absolutely help with the psychological effects of addiction and recovery. Many therapy modalities are available to help individuals struggling with addiction move on to happier, healthier lives.
To get urgent help with a substance problem, you can reach out to the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 622-4357. Learn more at samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline.
The overuse of addictive drugs can lead to a Substance Use Disorder (SUD). When cravings are unmanageable, work and home-life suffer, and thoughts are consumed with plans to use, professional help should be considered.
Therapy can absolutely help with the psychological effects of addiction and recovery. Many therapy modalities are available to help individuals struggling with addiction move on to happier, healthier lives.
To get urgent help with a substance problem, you can reach out to the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 622-4357. Learn more at samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline.
Common Issues
Addiction
An Addiction is defined as a psychological and/or physical inability to stop consuming a substance or performing an activity despite the fact that it is causing psychological and/or physical damage. Addictions occur because the initially pleasurable activity maps certain brain pathways to demand more. The brain’s rewiring causes impaired judgment and poor behavior control lending to the individual’s uncontrollable urges to partake despite the negative consequences.
Addictions can consume the thought patterns of an individual making it difficult to focus and perform during everyday tasks – even when not using. Relationships tend to suffer and the individual may not even realize that the habit has grown out of control.
In addition to alcohol and drugs, many behaviors are highly addictive. These addictive behaviors include sex, gambling, shopping, eating, exercising, working, and being online. Gambling Disorder is the only officially recognized behavioral addiction by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) but all forms of addiction can be helped with therapy and support.
Anxiety Disorder
When anxiety gets out of control, it becomes Disordered Anxiety. Feelings of tense anticipation or nervousness are normal responses to certain things in life. However, when your anxiety level is too high too often, it can negatively affect your daily life.
Anxiety Disorders consist of persistent fear and worry – it does not reside easily and instead can escalate to panic. These disorders can make it hard to focus, sleep, sit still, and even breathe. When the mind and body are in constant alert overdrive, overall health can be affected in addition to having problems at school, work, and in relationships.
Disordered anxiety can be caused by many things, including overwhelming stress, past traumas, and physical health problems. There are several types of anxiety disorders, including Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and certain phobias.
How to Treat Anxiety Disorders
Each type and severity have distinct treatment plans, but most commonly include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), relaxation techniques, and sometimes medications as well. Therapy can help determine the type of anxiety disorder you have and which type of treatment may best suit your individual needs.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder can cause high levels of hyperactivity and impulsive behaviors. Many people who have ADHD have trouble focusing or sitting down for a long period of time. It’s important to know that both children and adults can have ADHD.Predominantly Inactive ADHDThere are three different types of ADHD. The first is “Predominantly Inattentive” and most people with this type of ADHD have trouble focusing, following instructions, and finishing tasks. The biggest separator between this form and the other two is that they don’t tend to disrupt a whole class and is most common with girls. The type of ADHD was previously referred to as Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).
Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive ADHDThe second form of ADHD is called “Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive”. These individuals are primarily hyperactive and show impulsive behavior. This can include interrupting others, constant fidgeting and not being able to wait their turn. This form of ADHD can also make it very hard to pay attention to tasks.
Combined Hyperactive-Impulsive ADHDThe third form of ADHD is called “Combined Hyperactive-Impulsive” and the inattentive type and is the most common form of ADHD. This form of ADHD displays symptoms of both of the other two. This can include the inability to pay attention, tendencies of impulsiveness as well as high levels of activity and energy.
High Functioning ADHDSkills can be learned around awareness and focus to help with self-management and organization. ADHD is a superpower!
Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive ADHDThe second form of ADHD is called “Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive”. These individuals are primarily hyperactive and show impulsive behavior. This can include interrupting others, constant fidgeting and not being able to wait their turn. This form of ADHD can also make it very hard to pay attention to tasks.
Combined Hyperactive-Impulsive ADHDThe third form of ADHD is called “Combined Hyperactive-Impulsive” and the inattentive type and is the most common form of ADHD. This form of ADHD displays symptoms of both of the other two. This can include the inability to pay attention, tendencies of impulsiveness as well as high levels of activity and energy.
High Functioning ADHDSkills can be learned around awareness and focus to help with self-management and organization. ADHD is a superpower!
Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar Disorder (formerly, manic depression) is a mental illness that causes extremely varied mood swings and erratic behavior. These mood swings can affect sleep and energy levels, thoughts, judgment, and actions. Mania, and the less severe Hypomania, causes an upswing of high energy, racing thoughts, talkativeness, euphoria, and risky behavior. Major depressive episodes tend to follow manic episodes – they cause hopeless and irritable moods, fatigue, indecisiveness, and problems with sleep and appetite.
There are several categories of Bipolar Disorder – Bipolar I, Bipolar II, Cyclothymic disorder, and other types of bipolar and related disorders. Bipolar 1 is diagnosed when the patient has manic episodes – these are severe and can have serious consequences based on action taken during the manic episodes. Individuals with Bipolar II do not experience manic episodes, but their depression periods are often much longer and can be very detrimental to everyday life. Cyclothymic disorder is diagnosed after two years of depressive symptoms and hypomania – though less severe than major depression.
Bipolar disorder is a physical condition that is generally treated with combinations of counseling and medication. It is important to obtain an accurate diagnosis from a clinical professional to ensure optimal treatment plans for successful lifelong management.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Borderline Personality Disorder is an illness that makes emotions difficult to manage. One may have difficulty relating to others, coping with stress, reckless behavior, strong feelings of isolation and abandonment, and challenges understanding other people’s points of view. BPD is sometimes also called Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD) as the name is more descriptive to the actual condition.
BPD commonly presents in adolescence or early adulthood with intense moods, suicidal thoughts, addictive behaviors, inability to maintain jobs and relationships, and paranoid thoughts. Because of the extreme mood swings, BPD is frequently misdiagnosed as Bipolar Disorder, however, the mood changes with BPD are typically much shorter in overall duration.
Treatment is typically a combination of psychotherapies including Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Mindfulness. There are no medications specifically to treat BPD but there are support groups that can help when struggling to cope with these significant emotions. People living with BPD are able to improve their lives with the help of therapy and other kinds of support.
Burnout
Burnout is what happens when the candle has been burning at both ends for too long. People experiencing burnout have a hard time performing up to the usual level and struggle to find the motivations that were typically available before. Our bodies and minds can handle a lot, but pushing everything to the max for prolonged periods can overstress the entire system and cause burnout.
Burnout tends to grow over time and can sneak up on a person when it reaches high levels. Some emotional signs include irritability, listlessness, lack of focus, and disillusionment with career and responsibilities. Physical symptoms can manifest as stomach issues, headache, fatigue, sleeplessness, and lowered immune response. It is not uncommon for an individual experiencing burnout to turn to excessive alcohol or drug use to cope.
The best thing to do with burnout is to recognize the signs and ask for help. If it is job burnout, a conversation with a supervisor may be effective. If it is parental burnout, perhaps other family members or friends would be helpful if reached out to. Exercise, sleep, mindfulness practices, and therapy are all great options when it comes to overcoming burnout.
The best thing to do with burnout is to recognize the signs and ask for help. If it is job burnout, a conversation with a supervisor may be effective. If it is parental burnout, perhaps other family members or friends would be helpful if reached out to. Exercise, sleep, mindfulness practices, and therapy are all great options when it comes to overcoming burnout.