Counseling Terms Glossary
Are you curious about the meanings behind all of the jargon, buzzwords, and phrases used in counseling? Are you considering counseling but feeling overwhelmed by unfamiliar terms? Not to worry - we're here to help! Our comprehensive glossary contains the words and phrases you need to know in order to understand and navigate the world of counseling. Don't let confusing jargon stand in the way of your wellbeing - let us demystify the language used in counseling and help you on your journey to self-discovery.
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Common Issues
Abandonment
Abandonment is not a stand-alone health condition but is a form of anxiety and in some cases can be considered a phobia. People with abandonment issues have trouble in relationships because of a fear of the other person leaving them.
Everyone has experienced abandonment in one form or another. As children grow and begin to develop their self-worth, certain life events can cause shame and feelings of inadequacy. These past hurts can be hidden deep and may not be obvious, however, they can cause very real pain and be a driving force throughout adult life. This is a form of attachment trauma and is commonly seen within Anxious Preoccupied and Fearful Avoidant Attachment Styles.
Abusive Relationships and/or Abuse
Abuse can take on many forms, causing harm not only physically but also emotionally. This type of abuse often comes from those closest to us, such as a partner or family member.
Physical abuse occurs when an individual is physically assaulted by another, which includes acts of violence or unwanted sexual activity.
Emotional abuse occurs when an individual extorts control over another using intimidation techniques including insults, humiliation, fear, and neglect among many others.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger of abuse, please reach out to the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at (800) 799-7233.
Anxiety
Anxiety is a stress that persists even after the stressor has subsided. It’s a persistent worry which causes ongoing symptoms of stress in the body and mind.
Anxiety is a stress that persists even after the stressor has subsided. Anxiety is a persistent worry which causes ongoing symptoms of stress in the body and mind. Because the body is not meant to maintain this heightened state of alertness for extended periods, it is important to address anxiety and work to alleviate it with improved mindfulness and coping skills.
Boundaries
Boundaries are personal limits separating what we accept from what we do not accept. They are a person’s invisible forcefield, imperative to one’s healthy well-being. Defining and holding boundaries is important so as to not allow others to dictate how we feel and act.
Unhealthy or missing boundaries can lead to overwhelm, stress, anger, anxiety, depression, and burnout.
Bullying
Bullying may involve physical altercations like pushing, tripping, or beating but more often it is done verbally. The bully seeks to exert control over another by taunting, shaming, teasing, stealing, or spreading false rumors.
When someone takes actions to make another feel bad about themselves, that is bullying.
Bullying is harmful because it causes low self-esteem and isolation – reduced participation in class lends to poor grades and may lead to depression, anxiety, and even suicide. Therapists can work with bullies to help overcome the reasons why they are hurting others, and they can also help the child who was bullied to heal from the traumas caused by abusive behaviors.
Bullying is against the law and should be reported if a school-age child is involved. Read about the anti-bullying laws and steps you can take at understood.org.
Dissociation
Dissociation is a powerful internal defense mechanism in which conflicting natural impulses or threatening ideas and feelings are separated from the rest of one’s psyche.
We all have the power to dissociate, and it has saved many of us in different ways, i.e. when being attacked, your fight response is triggered and another side of you can come out or the mother who can lift a car to save her child in that moment.
We all dissociate and people who have experienced more complex trauma in their lifetime tend to have higher levels of dissociation.
Divorce
When a family separates due to a Divorce, a plethora of feelings and new ways of daily life have to be addressed and managed. Both sides of the couple and the other members of the family will experience intense emotions including shame, blame, sadness, anger, and confusion.
The grief experienced from divorce can be similar to the death of a loved one and is very real. There may be feelings of hopelessness, depression, and anxiety. There is likely uncertainty about the next steps to take in life – which direction to go and wondering if one is capable and worthy of new ventures.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of emotional and psychological abuse and manipulation. Narcissistic personalities will use gaslighting to cause you to doubt yourself just enough for them to manipulate you. That can be a lot or a little, depending on you and your relationship with the narcissist.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person is made to question their own sanity so the abuser can exploit them. The abuser is often a narcissist or other controlling personality. This could be a partner, a coworker/supervisor, or even a trusted friend.
Gaslighting is very serious and can cause anxiety, depression, and psychological trauma. Therapy can help to understand the events as they truly took place and work to heal the trauma and restore self-confidence.
You can learn more about how to recognize narcissistic personality traits and gaslighting on our blog.
Anyone who believes they may be experiencing gaslighting or any form of abuse should seek support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 800-799-7233 or online chat at thehotline.org.
Grief and Complex Grief
Grief is the pain that is naturally felt when a loss occurs. The loss can be from the death of a loved one or a pet, the loss of a job or a friend, or even a sense of lost safety after a traumatic event.
Therapy can help you navigate the stages of grief, manage the symptoms in the process, and guide you to a more fulfilled and self-aware place in life.
Guilt and Shame
Guilt and shame are often used interchangeably, but they actually carry distinct and independent meanings. While related, guilt and shame are separate emotions that can coexist together.
Guilt and shame are both powerful emotions that can have a significant impact on individuals. They are often triggered by a sense of wrongdoing or moral conflict and can lead to feelings of sadness, self-doubt, and even self-punishment. However, while they may have similar effects, guilt and shame are different in their focus and purpose.
Guilt is the feeling of remorse or regret for a specific action or behavior, while shame is the feeling of being inadequate or unworthy as a person. In other words, guilt is centered around the action itself, while shame is focused on the person's sense of self and identity.
Think -
Guilt = "I did something bad."
Shame = "I am bad."
While guilt and shame are emotions that provide important feedback and are not inherently "bad" emotions, chronic guilt and shame both lead to more significant mental health issues and struggles in life.
Infidelity
Infidelity is the term for unfaithfulness (affair/cheating) within a monogamous relationship. Viewpoints on what constitutes infidelity vary – some see deep conversations with others as cheating and others feel it is the act of sex with another. The extent of the unfaithfulness has no real relevance to the outcome – it all feels terrible.
A person who has been betrayed often feels grief, rage, shame, depression, and trauma. This can lead to problems at work or cause risky behaviors including using sex, food, drugs, or alcohol to cope. These responses are quite common and can happen whether the couple decides to split or to try to stay together.
Couples therapy can help the two sides discuss the problems that led to the infidelity and work towards solutions to those problems. Individual therapy can help to restore the self-esteem of the person who was cheated on and also helps overcome the guilt of the individual who committed the adultery. People make mistakes – sometimes big ones – and therapy is a good resource for helping to move through and past the bumps of life.
A person who has been betrayed often feels grief, rage, shame, depression, and trauma. This can lead to problems at work or cause risky behaviors including using sex, food, drugs, or alcohol to cope. These responses are quite common and can happen whether the couple decides to split or to try to stay together.
Couples therapy can help the two sides discuss the problems that led to the infidelity and work towards solutions to those problems. Individual therapy can help to restore the self-esteem of the person who was cheated on and also helps overcome the guilt of the individual who committed the adultery. People make mistakes – sometimes big ones – and therapy is a good resource for helping to move through and past the bumps of life.
Narcissism and/or Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental condition where an individual feels they are superior, have a strong need for attention and admiration, and have a lack of empathy for others.
Narcissists tend to think they are above reproach and they regularly degrade those around them. They expect grand treatment and feel the rules do not apply to them. They lack boundaries, have no respect for others. They do all of this without any shame because their condition prevents them from connecting and processing shame – this is likely a result of an early-childhood trauma they experienced themselves.
Narcissistic abuse occurs when a person with narcissistic traits begins to harm or manipulate another individual.
Individuals who have experienced a prolonged relationship with a narcissist (whether it's romantic, friendship, or familial) may develop Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome, which can lead to diminished self-esteem and a distorted perception of reality, resulting in symptoms similar to those of PTSD such as hypervigilance, flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts.
Therapy can help those who have been affected by narcissistic abuse and those suffering from NPD as well.
Pathways Counseling KC have therapists who specialize in treating narcissistic abuse. We can help you heal and take back your life!
Anyone who believes they may be experiencing any form of abuse should seek support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 800-799-7233 or online chat at thehotline.org.